If Columbus Had Sailed In 1992

I graduated high school in 1992, 500 years after Columbus found a new world for Spain, and eventually the rest of Europe. What if Columbus had actually sailed in 1992 instead of 1492? If we match the timeline of American colonization by Europeans with the present, this is when things would go down:

1985: Columbus proposes the idea to sail west to find India to the Portuguese; he is denied. He pitches this idea repeatedly to Spain, England, France and Portugal for the next 7 years.

1988: First European ship (Portuguese) rounds Africa’s Cape of New Hope, aiming to secure eastern sea passage to India and beyond

1992: Columbus finally secures sponsorship from Spain, and leaves on Aug 3 on his first voyage to find India in a western passage; finds Bahamas, Cuba, and Hispaniola (Haiti/Dominican Republic)

1996: The first permanent European settlement in the New World is built, Santo Domingo (Dominican Republic)

1998: On his 3rd voyage, Columbus finds South America

1999: Non-Columbians take charge; Amerigo Vespucci finds mouth of Amazon

2000: Spain arrests Columbus for tyranny in governorship of Hispaniola

2000: Spain’s claims encompass 40,000 square miles (equivalent area to Iceland or South Korea)

2002: First gold convoy leaves Hispaniola for Spain

2002: Atlantic slave trade begins, built from relationships forged by Portugal with West African nations starting in 1920 and peaking in 1945 (the first slave market was 1941)

2012: Michelangelo completes Sistine Chapel ceiling

2013: Portuguese land in China (Marco Polo of Venice had been there in 1766)

2013: Ponce de Leon in Florida

2015: Spain’s claims encompass 200,000 square miles (equivalent area to Thailand or Spain itself)

2017: Luther posts his 95 theses in Wittenburg, Germany

2019: Spanish find the mouth of the Mississippi

2021: Cortes conquers Aztec empire in Mexico

2022: Magellan’s expedition completes first circumnavigation of the globe

2024: Verrazzano explores Eastern seaboard of US from N. Carolina to Maine

2028: Smallpox unwittingly transferred to Inca empire in Peru by Pizzaro

2032: Pizzaro returns and conquers the smallpox ravaged Incas

2034: Church of England separates from Catholic Church

2034: Colonization of Brazil by Portugal begins (Portugal claimed it in 2000)

2035: Native population of Hispaniola is zero, down from 8 million in 1992, due to European disease and to the harsh conditions of slavery

2039: Hernando de Soto explores from Florida to Arkansas, finds empty villages from natives decimated by European diseases spread since first contact

2040: Spain’s claims encompass 2 million square miles (area of Argentina x 2)

2040: Coronado, searching for the Seven Cities of Gold, reaches as far as Kansas, and unwittingly unleashes horses on the Great Plains, which soon multiply into millions of animals and transform native culture and warfare

2042: Spanish find California coast

2042: Spain passes laws to better protect rights of natives and slaves, for example limiting the amount of violence slave owners can inflict on slaves

2043: Portuguese land in Nagasaki

2046: Spain discovers first real precious metal lodes in the Americas, silver in Mexico and Bolivia

2050: Lima, Mexico City, Panama City, Cartegena, Asuncion, Buenos Aires, and Santiago are all established by now

2065: Spanish begin colonizing the Philippines (Magellan claimed it for Spain in 2021)

2098: Spain claims the territory north of the Rio Grande as Nuevo Mexico, begins ranching there

2100: 330,000 pounds of gold and 7.5 million pounds of silver have reached Spain from the Americas since conquest, worth between $1 and 10 trillion in today’s money (Spain’s annual GDP in the actual present is $1.2 trillion)

2110: First permanent English settlement in US at Jamestown, Virginia

2121: First Thanksgiving at Plymouth, Massachusetts

2187: Newton publishes laws of motion

2192: Total Native American (north and south) population 70-95% smaller than in 1992, due mostly to European diseases

2269: Spanish Mission established in San Diego, the first base for colonization of coastal California

2276: American Revolution

2290: Slave trade peaks

2365: Slavery outlawed in the US

2508: Obama elected

2513: Miley twerks


And here’s a few more, just for kicks:

2065: First permanent European settlement in continental US, at St. Augustine, Florida, by Spain; plantations established

2095: Romeo and Juliet

2105: Don Quixote, Europe’s first novel

2106: Macbeth

2109: The English sail up the Hudson River

2136: Harvard University established

2240: Spanish have explored or surveyed almost all of what they claimed

2241: Handel’s Messiah

2270: English claim Australia (first found by the Dutch in 2106)

2190: The 13 American colonies begin using Spanish Dollars as currency, which were the foundation of the world’s monetary system due to Spanish gold and silver extracted from Mexico and Bolivia flooding the world

2292: Wall Street stock trading begins; takes place in Spanish Dollars

2303: Louisiana Purchase vastly expands US territory

2308: Beethoven’s 5th

2324: Beethoven’s 9th

2345-2350: Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California leave Mexican possession and become U.S. possessions

2469: Man walks on fucking moon

Published in: on March 6, 2016 at 3:26 pm  Leave a Comment  
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